1. Establish Healthy Routines

When it comes to my 5-year-old, establishing routines has been a game-changer. He thrives on structure, and having a visual schedule with both pictures and words has been key for him. He knows exactly what’s coming next, whether it’s brushing his teeth, getting dressed, or bedtime. Even on tough nights, when I’m tired or overwhelmed, keeping up with the routine has made all the difference—even if it means a quick brush instead of a full one. The important part is sticking with it. And it’s incredible how routines help him, not just with daily tasks, but also with learning new things—like when he surprised me by saying, “60 times 60 is 3600!” after watching a video on time. He’s just naturally curious, and having that structure in place only helps him dive deeper into learning.

2. Encourage Open Communication

When my 3-year-old daughter has one of her big meltdowns, it can be hard to get through to her. She’ll throw herself on the floor and say things like, “You don’t love me,” which we know isn’t true. But in those moments, it’s so important to stay calm and patient, even when it’s tough. My partner and I try to calmly ask what’s wrong and reassure her. We’ve found that when we don’t focus on the big emotions too much and instead distract or redirect, it helps a lot. It’s different with my 5-year-old—he tends to get overwhelmed by loud sounds and big feelings, and he’ll scream randomly, especially if he’s had a treat with red dye (thanks, Valentines Day), which can cause behavioral issues. We try to take a step back and figure out what’s causing it, whether it’s a food trigger or something else, so we can help him reset.

3. Prioritize Healthy Eating

Feeding my kids has its own set of challenges. My 5-year-old loves his ‘baby burgers,’ and recently, he surprised me by adding onions to his—something I never thought would happen! But when it comes to veggies and other produce, he’s not interested at all. On the other hand, my 3-year-old is all about raw veggies, fruit, and dairy—cheese and yogurt are a constant! Getting protein and iron into my 3-year-old can be tough, though, as she refuses to eat much meat, except for chicken nuggets. I’ve had to get creative, sneaking protein into meals or giving her alternatives. With my celiac disease, I have to keep things separate, which has turned into a little ritual—labeling my butter and keeping all the gluten-free items in their own spot. It’s not always easy, but I’ve learned that staying organized and finding small, manageable solutions helps everyone eat better in the long run.

4. Create a Calm and Organized Space

Creating a calm and organized space is essential for reducing stress and helping everyone feel more at ease. While clutter is an ongoing challenge in our house, I’ve learned how helpful it can be to keep things organized in specific zones—especially when you have neurodivergent kids.

My kids really enjoy helping out with the cleaning, too. My 3-year-old loves wiping down the tables with kid-friendly cleaners, like ATTITUDE All-Purpose Cleaner Disinfectant 99.99%, and my 5-year-old has even surprised me by taking the initiative to clean the front door area all on his own one evening! I was so proud of his effort and independence. Though it takes patience to keep my cool while they’re tidying up, I try to see the process as a learning experience for them. Encouraging them to pitch in has helped create a sense of shared responsibility, and the routine of cleaning up after activities has actually given us a sense of calm in the chaos.

On weekends, we focus on tidying up the areas that need it most. It’s always a work in progress, but breaking things down into smaller tasks, like clearing one area at a time, helps me stay on track without getting overwhelmed. Letting go of old baby clothes was hard for me at first, but I’m learning to be more selective, keeping only the truly special items. And as for the basement? That’s where all the outgrown toys go, but sometimes things get buried in the clutter. It’s something we’re working through week by week, but I think having these spaces organized is important not just for the kids, but for my own mental peace too.

5. Support Each Other’s Mental Health

As a mom, it’s easy to forget about your own needs when you’re busy taking care of everyone else. I’ve had my share of therapists in our lives, and while some have been really helpful, others just didn’t quite connect with us. It’s important to find the right fit, especially when it comes to mental health support. For me, I struggle with SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder) and APD (Auditory Processing Disorder), so loud noises from the kids can quickly overwhelm me. To help with that, I’ve started using YouTube frequencies with headphones to help me focus and calm down. It’s a small thing, but it works wonders. We all have our sensory issues—my partner included—and we’ve learned to support each other’s needs, even when things get overwhelming.